IT.IS.OVERRRRRR!!!!!!!
I was certain I would cry at the discharge ceremony, but jess, rene, and I all managed to hold it in. The guys were all like, " why would you cry??" they didn't get it :P
THANK YOU to everyone who has read this, commented, supported me, and especially prayed for me! There is no way I could have done this past month without you all :)
The last day felt like highschool graduation all over again: we were all ecstatic to be done and going home, but also really, really sad....we had become almost like a family: I had a grandma and gramdpa, (the grandma was a hip-hop dancing lady who likes steletos and club dancing, and the grandpa was a veitnam war vet, who whork in an airport.) I had a creepy older brother, and a cool brother. I had a distant aunt who never spoke much, and a dad from poland. heres waht im going to mis the most: my 2 older sisters; I have always been the older sister, and having 2 older sisters was really awesome. I wanted to cry sooooo bad, because I was just devestated that alette wasn't there to finnish with me....We all made a contact sheet, with our names, emails, phone numbers, and home addresses. (i just put my name and email haha there are some peopl i DO NOT want to keep contact with lol) So we probably wont loose touch. But the likelyhood that i will see any of them ever again is very very small. But i can hope :)
Thanks again everyone! You helped me get through this month, and I cannot thank you enough :D
Love, Katie
Ps~ I will be deleteing this blog in a little bit, for various reasons. I am going to print it out so i have a copy of it to remember it. If there is anything else you wish to say, please say it on here by the end of the week. (friday or saturday at the latest.) so that I can delete it. Thank you :)
Pss~ alette and jess---if you're reading this, I cannot thank you enough. The fact that we were all in the same group was a total blessing, and I have thanked God for it every single day since I met you guys. We helped each other get through, and we became very close. I don't have to say goodbye here, because we are NOT going to loose touch--we simply can't. But i will say this: I miss you guys. My last memory of you guys is still very clear: alette, you were walking across michigan avenue back to the hotel, and I lost sight of you in the crowds. (very much like in the movies lol) Jess-we were the last 2 to leave ric; You headed toward the elevators to the parking garage, and I went to the escalators down to the street. We made an agreement: neither of us would cry till i was at the hotel and you were in the car. I barely managed to keep my end of the deal. If we WERE saying goodbye, I would say the same thing to you both: You are the toughest gals I have ever met. You got through this with torn hips, rsd knee, and a bunch of crazy doctors making up lies about you. I became tougher by watching you, so thank you.
OK i'm done now with the emotional part. :P
Once again, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!
~Katie
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
LAST DAY!!!!!
Sorry I haven't posted in a few days, I've just been sooooooo tried this week! my muscles and entire body is just exhausted! So here's whats been going on:
Tuesday: We had out meal project: we all had to make part of a meal, including prep, cooking, and cleaning. We has so much food! I did not even get a chance to try everything. The counselors were veryy impressed with how much we did! heres what we had:
Me~ shrimp scampi and penne rigate pasta
Jessica~ chocolate cupcakes with creamcheese frosting, with different words on them, like pain, RIC, gym, pool, pt, ot, ect...
David~ pork tenderloin with buns for sandwitches and dutch red pepper mayonaise, and a make-you-own strawberry shortcake kit: desert shells, vanilla bean ice cream, fresh cut strawberries with sugar, (most beautiful strawberries any of us had ever seen!) and canned whipped cream. (They were sooooo good!!!)
Rene~ banana pudding, (which I obvioulsy did not eat lol) and crispy cream glazed doughnuts, (which i also did not eat!) and a 24 pack of 7-up.
Victor~ this amazing fruit salad! it was kinda like a fruit salad soup-he had regular fruits, but he stired them into this cream chese/sweetedned condensed milk mixture, so it was creamy and sweet. delicious! we all loved it so much we made him give us all the recipe!
Suzanne~ a mexican rice and cron dish. it looked and smeeled good, but by the time i got to here dish, i was stuffed!
Norman~ tacos.
Is that everone? i think so...oh well I'll probably remember something later lol.
Wednesday: Nothing much new here....
Thursday: Bad pain day; my rsd foot flared like crazy in the pool yesterday morning, so the preassure and feel of the water all around my bad foot was reallyyyy hurting. But I had a FANTASTIC class yesterday afternoon! Its called "creative movement" and it was a blast! I was really worried going in, cause people were telling us it was like a dance class or something, and i was thinking,"theres NO WAY im going to dance infront of these people!!!" but it turned out to be a very different type of dancing, in fact it was the funest kind iv'e ever experienced! The leader, Deb Dar, who is also our feldenkrais instructor, put on this cool "epic music." thats what teenagers acall it, but guess the best way to explain it would be this: its the kind of music that you hear during the super dramatic and climatic moments in a movie. the kind that gives you chills-haunting and beautiful all at the same time. So she put that on, and tells us we've been on a space ship for many months, and we're just stepping out on to the planet, and discovering there is very little gravity, so what would it be like to try to walk around our first few steps here? the whole thing was based on imagery, based on our group being a team going to another planet billions of lightyears away, and meeting the natives and exoperiencing their world. its was totally Avatar! so we did silly, funky dances, we made a tango line, we did all these different dances! We were all sweating like crazy-it was ALOT of work! but totally work it :) We all told Deb that they needed to put this class in the middle of the program as well, so that people got more than just one class of it. We were all laughing the entire time. THere was one dance, where we're supposed to be pulling the "chains of pain" off of us, and when we do this one move, we have to yell and scream like the hulk. We were the loudest group ever! we were doing it on purpose though: our second week, we were in psychology group, which is right next to the studio, and we hear the group before us yelling a little bit. (they had been doing this creative movement class) so we knew that the group who were in there second week right now, who were also in the next room for psychology group, would be alble to hear us, so we were trying to freak them out a little :P
Dad and I had an interesting evening last night, too. I came home, changed and re did my hair and make up, and rushed back out again. we got to the Hemingway museum at about 5:45, (it took us 45 minutes to make a 20 minute drive! bad traffic. But i learned how to navigat a city map, and we had a great time talking and seeing the outer parts of chicago, even though some of them were pretty scary lol) and parked outside the museum. then we walked about a block and a half to this little greek resteraunt. It was my first time in a greek resteraunt, so I was a litty wary of what it was going to be like, let alone what the heck to order! but their menu was very small, and it explained what everything way in english, so i was good. But everything was in a light tomato sauce, or loaded with dill and garlic. So I went with the safe route-a typica gyro with tomatos, onions, meat, pita bread, and tziki. It. WAS. AMAZING!!! omg I could have just kept eating it! I also got a side dih of "briami," which is veggitables in a light tomato sauce with tones of herbs and spices. I wasn't too crazy about that one. And dad got this dish, whose name i can neither rmember nor pronounce, that was even better than mine! he got this huge piece of lamb, tht was so tender and juicy and flavorful, that all you had to do was lightly poke it with your fork and it just fell right off the bone! it came with these fried potatoes, and it was all covered and smothered in this delicious sauce! We were very impredded. However, 3 pieces of "five" gum later, and I could STILL taste the dill and garlic from the meat and tziki lol.
At the hemingway museum, everyone wanted to meet dad, and a few of them insisted on him signing john's book! (we were there to meet a relative, john hemingway, who had written a book about his father, gregory, and his grandfather, ernest hemingway.) When I met john, he was very nice, but he really hurt me! when he shook my hand...omg he has the strongest handshake I have ever felt! it pretty much felt like he was crushing my right hand! i caould barely use it the entire rest of the night. I went up to the lobby and propped my bad foot up before the talk even began, so that I wouldnt look rude for leaveing, because I knew iwas going to have to leave anyway. so I sat up there for an hour and a half, then waited another hour while everyone talked to dad. But I had hit a wall about 8:30, so I waited an hour and a half before we got to leave. Dad had told me that if i needed to leave, to text him and we could leave. But I could really tell he was enjoying himself, and he's done SOOO much forme this past month, i figured the least I could do was suck it up for a few hours so he could do this. And he was very happy, so it was very worth it :) Personally, I found the museum kinda boring, but dad had a blast :)
I came home, and just crashed. I went strait to bed-no homework, no calling mom or luke or lauriee or alette, just straight to bed.
This morning, I had to get up at 5:30 to shwer, since I couldnt last night. I dont know what it was, but this morning the city was absolutely gorgeous! the sunlight was hitting it just right and made it beautiful :) (or maybe its just cause its my last time walking to ric? ... :P)
Well, time to go to the gym!
Tuesday: We had out meal project: we all had to make part of a meal, including prep, cooking, and cleaning. We has so much food! I did not even get a chance to try everything. The counselors were veryy impressed with how much we did! heres what we had:
Me~ shrimp scampi and penne rigate pasta
Jessica~ chocolate cupcakes with creamcheese frosting, with different words on them, like pain, RIC, gym, pool, pt, ot, ect...
David~ pork tenderloin with buns for sandwitches and dutch red pepper mayonaise, and a make-you-own strawberry shortcake kit: desert shells, vanilla bean ice cream, fresh cut strawberries with sugar, (most beautiful strawberries any of us had ever seen!) and canned whipped cream. (They were sooooo good!!!)
Rene~ banana pudding, (which I obvioulsy did not eat lol) and crispy cream glazed doughnuts, (which i also did not eat!) and a 24 pack of 7-up.
Victor~ this amazing fruit salad! it was kinda like a fruit salad soup-he had regular fruits, but he stired them into this cream chese/sweetedned condensed milk mixture, so it was creamy and sweet. delicious! we all loved it so much we made him give us all the recipe!
Suzanne~ a mexican rice and cron dish. it looked and smeeled good, but by the time i got to here dish, i was stuffed!
Norman~ tacos.
Is that everone? i think so...oh well I'll probably remember something later lol.
Wednesday: Nothing much new here....
Thursday: Bad pain day; my rsd foot flared like crazy in the pool yesterday morning, so the preassure and feel of the water all around my bad foot was reallyyyy hurting. But I had a FANTASTIC class yesterday afternoon! Its called "creative movement" and it was a blast! I was really worried going in, cause people were telling us it was like a dance class or something, and i was thinking,"theres NO WAY im going to dance infront of these people!!!" but it turned out to be a very different type of dancing, in fact it was the funest kind iv'e ever experienced! The leader, Deb Dar, who is also our feldenkrais instructor, put on this cool "epic music." thats what teenagers acall it, but guess the best way to explain it would be this: its the kind of music that you hear during the super dramatic and climatic moments in a movie. the kind that gives you chills-haunting and beautiful all at the same time. So she put that on, and tells us we've been on a space ship for many months, and we're just stepping out on to the planet, and discovering there is very little gravity, so what would it be like to try to walk around our first few steps here? the whole thing was based on imagery, based on our group being a team going to another planet billions of lightyears away, and meeting the natives and exoperiencing their world. its was totally Avatar! so we did silly, funky dances, we made a tango line, we did all these different dances! We were all sweating like crazy-it was ALOT of work! but totally work it :) We all told Deb that they needed to put this class in the middle of the program as well, so that people got more than just one class of it. We were all laughing the entire time. THere was one dance, where we're supposed to be pulling the "chains of pain" off of us, and when we do this one move, we have to yell and scream like the hulk. We were the loudest group ever! we were doing it on purpose though: our second week, we were in psychology group, which is right next to the studio, and we hear the group before us yelling a little bit. (they had been doing this creative movement class) so we knew that the group who were in there second week right now, who were also in the next room for psychology group, would be alble to hear us, so we were trying to freak them out a little :P
Dad and I had an interesting evening last night, too. I came home, changed and re did my hair and make up, and rushed back out again. we got to the Hemingway museum at about 5:45, (it took us 45 minutes to make a 20 minute drive! bad traffic. But i learned how to navigat a city map, and we had a great time talking and seeing the outer parts of chicago, even though some of them were pretty scary lol) and parked outside the museum. then we walked about a block and a half to this little greek resteraunt. It was my first time in a greek resteraunt, so I was a litty wary of what it was going to be like, let alone what the heck to order! but their menu was very small, and it explained what everything way in english, so i was good. But everything was in a light tomato sauce, or loaded with dill and garlic. So I went with the safe route-a typica gyro with tomatos, onions, meat, pita bread, and tziki. It. WAS. AMAZING!!! omg I could have just kept eating it! I also got a side dih of "briami," which is veggitables in a light tomato sauce with tones of herbs and spices. I wasn't too crazy about that one. And dad got this dish, whose name i can neither rmember nor pronounce, that was even better than mine! he got this huge piece of lamb, tht was so tender and juicy and flavorful, that all you had to do was lightly poke it with your fork and it just fell right off the bone! it came with these fried potatoes, and it was all covered and smothered in this delicious sauce! We were very impredded. However, 3 pieces of "five" gum later, and I could STILL taste the dill and garlic from the meat and tziki lol.
At the hemingway museum, everyone wanted to meet dad, and a few of them insisted on him signing john's book! (we were there to meet a relative, john hemingway, who had written a book about his father, gregory, and his grandfather, ernest hemingway.) When I met john, he was very nice, but he really hurt me! when he shook my hand...omg he has the strongest handshake I have ever felt! it pretty much felt like he was crushing my right hand! i caould barely use it the entire rest of the night. I went up to the lobby and propped my bad foot up before the talk even began, so that I wouldnt look rude for leaveing, because I knew iwas going to have to leave anyway. so I sat up there for an hour and a half, then waited another hour while everyone talked to dad. But I had hit a wall about 8:30, so I waited an hour and a half before we got to leave. Dad had told me that if i needed to leave, to text him and we could leave. But I could really tell he was enjoying himself, and he's done SOOO much forme this past month, i figured the least I could do was suck it up for a few hours so he could do this. And he was very happy, so it was very worth it :) Personally, I found the museum kinda boring, but dad had a blast :)
I came home, and just crashed. I went strait to bed-no homework, no calling mom or luke or lauriee or alette, just straight to bed.
This morning, I had to get up at 5:30 to shwer, since I couldnt last night. I dont know what it was, but this morning the city was absolutely gorgeous! the sunlight was hitting it just right and made it beautiful :) (or maybe its just cause its my last time walking to ric? ... :P)
Well, time to go to the gym!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Dad's Birthday/BEST museum!!!!!
I surprised Dad this morning by taking him to the museum of science and industry! we got there 10 minutes after the museum oppened at 9:30 am, and stayed until 3:45, 15 minutes before it closed. IT.WAS.AMAZING!!!!!
(**let me warn you now that i am completely exausted, so my grammer/spelling may be worse than usual-which is pretty bad lol)
here are the ehibits we saw:
art+science=architexture: basically the worlds largest and tallest buildings, all made out of laegos!
ships: different ships from throughout time! (including pirate ships! :D)
racing cars: from all the way back to the late 1800's! dad was lovin it!
Circus: lots of fun stuff there!
eye spy: pretty much about 10 or 12 different glass displays built into the walls with life size eye spys! very cool!
U-505 german sub (with specail on board tour!)
Coal mine: at first i was misserable-id had my foot stepped on, and i was severely claustophobic in there! but i got over both fairly quickly :)
whispering gallery: cool but disapointing....
fast forward: all about the future
out of the vault: old displays from the museums past
navy: replica (oversized) of the uss chicago sub!
yesterday's main street: about 3 or 4 store fronts that were very old fashioned-pretty disapointing though-you couldnt go in!
transporatation gallery/the great train story: the biggest model ive EVER seen!
baby chick hattchery: sooooo cute!!
farm tech: pretty gross actually-we just walked through
and, of course, the gift shops!!
we walked through more than that, but those are the ones we stopped to look at or participate in.
S here are my favorites from those:
Racing Cars: this display had racing cars drom the past 140 years or so. they had a james bond car, an al capone car, (the kind where they break the tiny glass back window and shoot their machine guns through it.) and chitty bang-bang cars, and muuuch more. dad had a great time telling me about them!
Circus: This display had a "magic circus" display: a man spent 33 years (in the early 1900's) and made over 2000 hand carved and painted figurines, and put them all together into an animated circus train. The cars in the train were so realistic and detailed!! it was very cool. they also had the wacky mirrors that distort your relfection, I've never seen my legs that long! Im trying to loose weight, not grow 4 more feet! (lol) also check out the clown pic of me and dad! too funny!
U-505 German Sub U-boat: We got the extra special on board tour for this exibit! we got to go inside of it and look around and get a guided tour. Dad and I stayed in the back, so I would have a smaller chance of having ky bad foot stepped on. also, this way he could tell me more about the sub without disrupting the tour. The whole exibit gave mee an adrenaline rush (from the loud videos they played of war shows and stuff) and also made me want to cry...it was extremely sad...they had a chart that showed year to year how many merchant ships the german uboats shot down. and sad news reels and newspapers and stuff....the sub itself was both brilliantly designed, and also depressing: the engineering behind it was fantastic and brilliant, but the fact that something like that even has to exist was depressing...but dad loved it, and thats all that counted today :) he had a great time talking to our guide afterwards and talking "submarine shop talk" lol
Coal Mine: this exibit has been in the museum since the 1930's! you literally walk through a coal mine! its dark, loud, and overwhelming. not to mention claustrophobic!! they take you down in a pitch black elevator! then you're walking around an actual coal mine, so its dark, hard to see, crowded, and LOUD!!! but i got over it...we got to ride in this caged cart, kind of like those things in the movies, like indiana jones, same principle, different style of cart.
Whispering Gallery: this exibit was cool, but kinda dissapointing. all it was was a big room with two curved pieces of plastic that you talked into and it echoed. it was cool, but i was just like, "this is it? really?"
Fast Forward: pretty much just how to invent the future; saw something from the end of BSG, but i cant say because I know kris hasn't finnished it yet and I dont want to ruin it for her :)
Navy: we got into an oversized replica of chicago submarine; when you look through the periscope, you look out onto michigan avenue! very cool :)
Transportation Gallery: Basically the hugest most gigantic train set thingymabobber ive ever seen!
Baby Chicks: SOOOOO cute!!! fluffy and soft and cute :)
The last, and bestest one of all, was Colleen Moore's "Fairy Castle." you guys HAVE to look it up online, its so unbelievably amazing! i spent a good 20 minutes or so just taking dozens of pics! i didnt want to leave! i went down and bought the book about it-its that good :D
Dad and I went to safeway and got cake and ice cream for his bday, and ate dinner and dessert in front of Get Smart :)
Im exausted, so im going to go to bed....pics hopefully will be posted tomorrow! :)
(**let me warn you now that i am completely exausted, so my grammer/spelling may be worse than usual-which is pretty bad lol)
here are the ehibits we saw:
art+science=architexture: basically the worlds largest and tallest buildings, all made out of laegos!
ships: different ships from throughout time! (including pirate ships! :D)
racing cars: from all the way back to the late 1800's! dad was lovin it!
Circus: lots of fun stuff there!
eye spy: pretty much about 10 or 12 different glass displays built into the walls with life size eye spys! very cool!
U-505 german sub (with specail on board tour!)
Coal mine: at first i was misserable-id had my foot stepped on, and i was severely claustophobic in there! but i got over both fairly quickly :)
whispering gallery: cool but disapointing....
fast forward: all about the future
out of the vault: old displays from the museums past
navy: replica (oversized) of the uss chicago sub!
yesterday's main street: about 3 or 4 store fronts that were very old fashioned-pretty disapointing though-you couldnt go in!
transporatation gallery/the great train story: the biggest model ive EVER seen!
baby chick hattchery: sooooo cute!!
farm tech: pretty gross actually-we just walked through
and, of course, the gift shops!!
we walked through more than that, but those are the ones we stopped to look at or participate in.
S here are my favorites from those:
Racing Cars: this display had racing cars drom the past 140 years or so. they had a james bond car, an al capone car, (the kind where they break the tiny glass back window and shoot their machine guns through it.) and chitty bang-bang cars, and muuuch more. dad had a great time telling me about them!
Circus: This display had a "magic circus" display: a man spent 33 years (in the early 1900's) and made over 2000 hand carved and painted figurines, and put them all together into an animated circus train. The cars in the train were so realistic and detailed!! it was very cool. they also had the wacky mirrors that distort your relfection, I've never seen my legs that long! Im trying to loose weight, not grow 4 more feet! (lol) also check out the clown pic of me and dad! too funny!
U-505 German Sub U-boat: We got the extra special on board tour for this exibit! we got to go inside of it and look around and get a guided tour. Dad and I stayed in the back, so I would have a smaller chance of having ky bad foot stepped on. also, this way he could tell me more about the sub without disrupting the tour. The whole exibit gave mee an adrenaline rush (from the loud videos they played of war shows and stuff) and also made me want to cry...it was extremely sad...they had a chart that showed year to year how many merchant ships the german uboats shot down. and sad news reels and newspapers and stuff....the sub itself was both brilliantly designed, and also depressing: the engineering behind it was fantastic and brilliant, but the fact that something like that even has to exist was depressing...but dad loved it, and thats all that counted today :) he had a great time talking to our guide afterwards and talking "submarine shop talk" lol
Coal Mine: this exibit has been in the museum since the 1930's! you literally walk through a coal mine! its dark, loud, and overwhelming. not to mention claustrophobic!! they take you down in a pitch black elevator! then you're walking around an actual coal mine, so its dark, hard to see, crowded, and LOUD!!! but i got over it...we got to ride in this caged cart, kind of like those things in the movies, like indiana jones, same principle, different style of cart.
Whispering Gallery: this exibit was cool, but kinda dissapointing. all it was was a big room with two curved pieces of plastic that you talked into and it echoed. it was cool, but i was just like, "this is it? really?"
Fast Forward: pretty much just how to invent the future; saw something from the end of BSG, but i cant say because I know kris hasn't finnished it yet and I dont want to ruin it for her :)
Navy: we got into an oversized replica of chicago submarine; when you look through the periscope, you look out onto michigan avenue! very cool :)
Transportation Gallery: Basically the hugest most gigantic train set thingymabobber ive ever seen!
Baby Chicks: SOOOOO cute!!! fluffy and soft and cute :)
The last, and bestest one of all, was Colleen Moore's "Fairy Castle." you guys HAVE to look it up online, its so unbelievably amazing! i spent a good 20 minutes or so just taking dozens of pics! i didnt want to leave! i went down and bought the book about it-its that good :D
Dad and I went to safeway and got cake and ice cream for his bday, and ate dinner and dessert in front of Get Smart :)
Im exausted, so im going to go to bed....pics hopefully will be posted tomorrow! :)
Friday, February 19, 2010
3 down, 1 to go!
Yesterday was extremely hard, and not because of ric. my best friends for here, alette, left yesterday. long story short, the doctors at ric were completely unfair and setting her up for failure. they took her off her pain medicine, and put her throught this rough program, and said if she took one pill, she was out. they also told her she had no reason to take it. I totally support what she did, and I think she did the right thing.....but I lost my best friend here. Alette and I became friends on the first day here-she was the only other person here with RSD/CRPS, and the only person who truly understood the pain. She was kind of like a big sister to me. We walked to ric together every day,walked home, ate lunch, went shopping, ect....now i dont have someone to do that with...I do have jessica, but she goes home after ric everyday, so its not like i can walk across the hall and do homework with her. She's totally awesome, and I still have someone close to my age....but we dont have the same friendship alette and i did. Thankfully, jess is extremely funny and outgoing, so shes constantly making me laugh :) but i miss alette like crazy :'(
Dad and I went up the Hancock tower today! the view was amazing! I took like 50 pics i think! dad got me a cool little slide out booklet thingy that shows you all the different views from the observatory really well. We went up just before sunset, so we got to see it during the daytime, at twilight, and at night. he got us some dessert up there, too: he got a cookie, and i got a scoop of chocolate chip gelato. I also got three little charms for a neclace at there giftshop, theyre called "dream rings". im not sure why theyre called that, but theyre basically a simple ring of metal with a word printed on it three times on both sides. i got 3: "luke," Katie," (they actually had one with my name spelled right!) and "best friends." I put the luke and katie ones on my neckalce that has the silver hart that also says luke on it, and the affect is kinda cool, it kind of frames the heart charm.
Today, my OT Kathy upped the DS AGAIN! now it massaging the bad foot for 15 minutes 4 times a day! uggg.....but atlest I know its working! i have good days, where it doesnt hurt too much, and my bad days, where, for some weird reason, it hurts reallyyyy bad to touch the foot. but i've been wearing a sneaker or tennis show ever since i got here! i wear my slippers/clogs thingies around the hotel, like to breakfast in dinner downstairs, but other than that its shoes!
My jeans are super loose on me! (mom-jeans shhopping when I get back plz!! these are too big in the legs lol) and my brand new bathing suit keeps falling off my shoulder! i just got it like 2 or 3 days before i left! im not noticing any changes in my tops, but oh well that will come later.
ONE MORE WEEK!!!!! you have NO IDEA how badly i want to come home! not because i want out of ric-because im homesick and i miss everyone so much. (you guys better give me one heck of a surprise party when i get back! lol jk :P)
I'm hoping to take dad out for his birthday tomorrow, but im not going to say where in case for some weird chance he happens to read this before tomorrow.
I MISS YOU GUYS!!!!!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Continous Bad Day
Sunday was horrible....so was monday.....todays not looking good either. Sunday, i tried these chinese herbs; there are not enough adjectives or words in the english language to express how vile and disgusting these things were! I stirred them into a cup of hot tea, with 3 teaspoons of honey and a whole packet of sugar. It didnt make one difference-it was still gross. I took one sip, gagged, and started crying. I guess I was crying because i was shocked; when I got these things from a doctor on saturday, they smelled kinda good-grandma, do you remember that necklace you brought me from china? it was a red string with a small cloth circle filled with herbs and a tassel. anyways, thats what this smelled like. And I liked it; i went into this whole herb process on sunday thinking "hey, this is going to be easy! they smell good, i can put them in something to override any bad tastes, this should be easy!" Nope. Complete opposite. so my stomqach has been hurting off and on ever since those herbs.
Yesterday, I woke up with my stomach still hurting. But I sucked it up and went in to ric anyways. my pain spiked around 2:30, and did not go back down for hours. It was pretty weird, actually, jess, alette, and I's pain all spike within like one minutes of eachother. we have no clue what caused it. so then our next class is relaxation-which normally i love-but yesterday i did not relax even once! The pain was reallyyyyy bad, so I had to turn my stim unit up, which made my back hurt and tngle, so i couldnt lay down. but i also couldnt sit up because the generator in my hip was at a super wierd angle and really hurting me. then the falling issue got about 85% worse. So I'm sitting there, crying quietly, trying to make it to the end of the class. I fianally got back to the hotel, and relaxed for an hour or so. then I went over across the hall to altette's room, and we did our work together and talked for about 3 hours. stomach still hurt, but otherwise I was starting to feel somewhat better.
So today I wake up, and my stomach is so screwed up that I cant even go into ric! I have been suckin it up everysingle day so far, no matter how crappy I feel. But my entire schedule this morning is excersising, and i cannot do that with this upset stomach. so i took pepto, ginger ale, and crackers, and now im watching MASH trying to distract myself, so i can go in by 11am. Our "community outing" is at 1pm today, (its where we all go do something fun as a group and "practice what we've learned so far.") we're going to the MCA- museum of comtemprary art. Of course, I'm mostly interested in the 2 story gift shop :P so im reallyy hoping i'll be better by then!
The good news is, Dad and I had a fantastic dinner at the cheesecake factory saturday night! it took us over 2 hours to get seated, but it was worth the wait! I got a red velvet cheesecake-layers of red velvet cake, cheesecake, cream cheese frosting, and white chocolate! ahhhhhhhhh it was HEAVEN!! it took me 3 days to watch though! it was the richest thing I've ever eaten in my entire life! soooooooo good though! :D
Yesterday, I woke up with my stomach still hurting. But I sucked it up and went in to ric anyways. my pain spiked around 2:30, and did not go back down for hours. It was pretty weird, actually, jess, alette, and I's pain all spike within like one minutes of eachother. we have no clue what caused it. so then our next class is relaxation-which normally i love-but yesterday i did not relax even once! The pain was reallyyyyy bad, so I had to turn my stim unit up, which made my back hurt and tngle, so i couldnt lay down. but i also couldnt sit up because the generator in my hip was at a super wierd angle and really hurting me. then the falling issue got about 85% worse. So I'm sitting there, crying quietly, trying to make it to the end of the class. I fianally got back to the hotel, and relaxed for an hour or so. then I went over across the hall to altette's room, and we did our work together and talked for about 3 hours. stomach still hurt, but otherwise I was starting to feel somewhat better.
So today I wake up, and my stomach is so screwed up that I cant even go into ric! I have been suckin it up everysingle day so far, no matter how crappy I feel. But my entire schedule this morning is excersising, and i cannot do that with this upset stomach. so i took pepto, ginger ale, and crackers, and now im watching MASH trying to distract myself, so i can go in by 11am. Our "community outing" is at 1pm today, (its where we all go do something fun as a group and "practice what we've learned so far.") we're going to the MCA- museum of comtemprary art. Of course, I'm mostly interested in the 2 story gift shop :P so im reallyy hoping i'll be better by then!
The good news is, Dad and I had a fantastic dinner at the cheesecake factory saturday night! it took us over 2 hours to get seated, but it was worth the wait! I got a red velvet cheesecake-layers of red velvet cake, cheesecake, cream cheese frosting, and white chocolate! ahhhhhhhhh it was HEAVEN!! it took me 3 days to watch though! it was the richest thing I've ever eaten in my entire life! soooooooo good though! :D
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Silly/Anorexic Models
So i am currently watching "Project runway" and "the models of project runway." the first one is a design competition, which i like cause its all about colors and patterns, ect. the models one is all about silly drama. (Ex: you called me fat! Did not! Did too!) but its fun to watch while im doing my excersises. I'mm almost done. Im actually doing one as im typing-I have to lie on my stomach while propped up on my elbows for a few minutes.
Here's the great news: ever since I asked my PT for more excersises to strengthen my wrists/hands and feet/ankles, I've felt much better! more sore, yes-but better!my arms are already stronger! I am standing here doing them tonight, and I fell pretty good :) but only with my arm work-the legs and feet, not so much....but im getting there :)
Tomorrow they canceled my PT appointment, and stuck me in relaxation again. I'm not so happy about t hat....I know how to relax,so I feel like I don't need that class as much. And I deffinitely need more PT! but there is one good thing about relaxation class-the imagery excersises! I LOVE those! so far they've only given us the basic ones: the beach, in a cabin in a snow storm, (i changed it up cause I hate the cold and made it a thunder/rain storm!) and a stream running through a meadow. Some people fall asleep and start snoring, and there's one person who makes rude comments about that. not very cool....
Saturday I have a meeting with an acupuncturist/eastern medicine guy that my doctor wants me to visit for more ideas about all my issues. So hopefully I will be able to get all my work done that day, see this new doctor guy, AND have some fun! We were talking about how frustrated we all are in psyche group today-we get up, make it to RIC, make it through the day, go home, rest a little, do more work and pain, eat, more work and pain, then bed. So we were all like, "when do we get some times for ourselves??" true, we have the weekends, but most of that is 1.) recovering, 2.) doing the homework/home excersies, and 3.) preparing for the next week. So there is really very little time to have for ourselves. Justin (one my favorite teachers) says it's all about finding the balance, but, knowing me, i'll finally find that balance like 2 days before i leave! :P
Ok, I'm going to go finnish my last excersise, then relax and go to bed. Goodnight :)
Here's the great news: ever since I asked my PT for more excersises to strengthen my wrists/hands and feet/ankles, I've felt much better! more sore, yes-but better!my arms are already stronger! I am standing here doing them tonight, and I fell pretty good :) but only with my arm work-the legs and feet, not so much....but im getting there :)
Tomorrow they canceled my PT appointment, and stuck me in relaxation again. I'm not so happy about t hat....I know how to relax,so I feel like I don't need that class as much. And I deffinitely need more PT! but there is one good thing about relaxation class-the imagery excersises! I LOVE those! so far they've only given us the basic ones: the beach, in a cabin in a snow storm, (i changed it up cause I hate the cold and made it a thunder/rain storm!) and a stream running through a meadow. Some people fall asleep and start snoring, and there's one person who makes rude comments about that. not very cool....
Saturday I have a meeting with an acupuncturist/eastern medicine guy that my doctor wants me to visit for more ideas about all my issues. So hopefully I will be able to get all my work done that day, see this new doctor guy, AND have some fun! We were talking about how frustrated we all are in psyche group today-we get up, make it to RIC, make it through the day, go home, rest a little, do more work and pain, eat, more work and pain, then bed. So we were all like, "when do we get some times for ourselves??" true, we have the weekends, but most of that is 1.) recovering, 2.) doing the homework/home excersies, and 3.) preparing for the next week. So there is really very little time to have for ourselves. Justin (one my favorite teachers) says it's all about finding the balance, but, knowing me, i'll finally find that balance like 2 days before i leave! :P
Ok, I'm going to go finnish my last excersise, then relax and go to bed. Goodnight :)
Didn't I get rid of homework when I graduated???
Ugggg....trying to work up the energy to do 2 more DS, shower, and do all 7 of my PT stuff....i can't decide which is worse. They all hurt, they all require strength and energy-none of which I have right now....I may have to blow off a couple PT excersises-like they keep telling us, PACING, right? :P
Upgrade...yay...
So Kathy just upgraded my desinsitization program from light touch to lotion and preassure. yippeeeee.......so basically now i get to rub lotion on my bad foot while applying preassure. and this is only step 2 in my DS program! not fun....I managed to get ALL my homework done lastnight, then fell asleep talking to luke. dad came in and helped me get to bed. I was alseep before 10:30, and slept straight till 6am. unfortunately, I dont feel rested at all :( ive been nodding off in classes all morning. the good news is, i have a code red mt dew, and all meetings and lectures fro the rest of the day! so it should be pretty easy...
Sorry I havent posted for a few days, i had some drama with the doctors, they thought i was being too negative and it was hindering my progress. (and im sorry, but if they have in issue with ME, then some people in my group better also be called in, because theyre waaaaay worse than me!) they also accused me of talking badly about the therapists behind their back and trying to turn them against eachother or something like that......yep,, im a real trouble maker, apparently! (By the way, NONE of that is true-but i think you guys know that because you all know ME, and im completely NOT like that!) so yeah i wass pissede beyond belief...for the first time, i REALLYYYYY wanted to come home-just to get away from these people! I mean, how can I work with people who 1.) treat me like this, and 2.) think of me that way?? But after talking to lauriee, luke, mom, and alette, im feeling better; at first i was going to be passive agressive, and just not talk unless they talked to me, because it feels like theyre twisting what i say-but i found i cannot do that, its just not my personality. so then i changed tactics: im being so cheerful and pleasant there is NO WAY they can posssibly find anything wrong with me. I know i dont need them to like me, thats not the point here; but it does make it alot easier, so....yeah....thats my plan. and if they dont like the fact that im complaining, they can get over it-you cant come to this place and not complain. its impossible!
*sigh* id better go eat lunch now, alette and jess will be here any minute from equinox to have lunch. (quick reminder: equinox is the gym and pool we use across the street.)
if anyone has any advice for how i can deal with these people, (and let me state that its NOT all of them-just a few)then id really appreciate hearing it :) Thanks!
Sorry I havent posted for a few days, i had some drama with the doctors, they thought i was being too negative and it was hindering my progress. (and im sorry, but if they have in issue with ME, then some people in my group better also be called in, because theyre waaaaay worse than me!) they also accused me of talking badly about the therapists behind their back and trying to turn them against eachother or something like that......yep,, im a real trouble maker, apparently! (By the way, NONE of that is true-but i think you guys know that because you all know ME, and im completely NOT like that!) so yeah i wass pissede beyond belief...for the first time, i REALLYYYYY wanted to come home-just to get away from these people! I mean, how can I work with people who 1.) treat me like this, and 2.) think of me that way?? But after talking to lauriee, luke, mom, and alette, im feeling better; at first i was going to be passive agressive, and just not talk unless they talked to me, because it feels like theyre twisting what i say-but i found i cannot do that, its just not my personality. so then i changed tactics: im being so cheerful and pleasant there is NO WAY they can posssibly find anything wrong with me. I know i dont need them to like me, thats not the point here; but it does make it alot easier, so....yeah....thats my plan. and if they dont like the fact that im complaining, they can get over it-you cant come to this place and not complain. its impossible!
*sigh* id better go eat lunch now, alette and jess will be here any minute from equinox to have lunch. (quick reminder: equinox is the gym and pool we use across the street.)
if anyone has any advice for how i can deal with these people, (and let me state that its NOT all of them-just a few)then id really appreciate hearing it :) Thanks!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Pics Info
So here is the info for the pics below: (from bottom to top:)
1.) Alette and I @ lunch (jess wasn't there that day but I'm hoping to get one of the 3 of us this week :)
2.) the Bubba Gump Shrimp Resteraunt Dad and I ate at friday night before going to Avatar!
3&4.) These are the signs they use to signal the waiters and waitresses-the go sign means we dont need anything, and the stop sign means we need the waiter or waitress.
5.)My hotel room now that Im finnished settling in.
6.)The 8th floor studio @ RIC-this is where i have feldenkrais, big movement group, core strengthening and relaxation.
7.) Me with my new earmuffs!!! :)
8.) New earmuffs! (I discovered today that I have a scarf that I got last summer that matched the earmuffs perfectly!)
1.) Alette and I @ lunch (jess wasn't there that day but I'm hoping to get one of the 3 of us this week :)
2.) the Bubba Gump Shrimp Resteraunt Dad and I ate at friday night before going to Avatar!
3&4.) These are the signs they use to signal the waiters and waitresses-the go sign means we dont need anything, and the stop sign means we need the waiter or waitress.
5.)My hotel room now that Im finnished settling in.
6.)The 8th floor studio @ RIC-this is where i have feldenkrais, big movement group, core strengthening and relaxation.
7.) Me with my new earmuffs!!! :)
8.) New earmuffs! (I discovered today that I have a scarf that I got last summer that matched the earmuffs perfectly!)
Friday, February 5, 2010
Rewards :)
So week number one is DOOOOONE!!!!! finallyyyy! after that last post, I finally foundthe dude who helped me open my locker and got my stuff out. the ni had core strengthening-HARDEST PART YET!!!! the gym i learned to adapt to, the pool is kinda fun, and feldenkrais will be fun again after i get my hip fixed. but this?? omg i physically could not do it! I almost had another breakdown-not because i was overwhelmed, but because i was so flippin frustrated with how my body wasnt doing what i was telling it to do!
its called core strengethening, (Im just gonna call it CS, cause thats alot easier to type AND spell lols)but its really leg stengthening! We did alllllll this stuff with our legs, and not crunches whatsoever! granted, some stuff was incorperating the abs, but the majority was leg torture! We had to do 20 of these leg lifts where you're on one side with your under leg bent and your upper leg behind you and hyou go strait up and down 20 times. i BARELY made it to ten!! i mean it hurt so dang bad i was crying. we also did clams, reverse crunches, upside down toe touches, and a lotttttt more! i was fed up because i would be telling my leg to go up and it just wasnt doing it! by the time we did the stretching in the end to losen up, i was done. couldnt do one more thing.
And thats another thing that bothered me-arent you sipposed to stretch BEFORE you work out???
I walked home alone, cause alette had one more class. i rested for about 2 minutes, then got ready to go out with dad.
As my reward for doing so well the first week, he took me to navy piers, where we ate dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., (suuuuch good food! the coconut shrimp was absolutely fantastic!)then we saw Avatar in IMAX 3D! there are not enough words to describe its awesomeness :) (although i DID have a headache when we got out, it was a little visually overwhelming. but soooooo goooooood!!!!) Then we went looking at the little kiosks of jewelry, and one of them had these cute earmuffs so dad let me get them! theyre pink and black plaid, (in a fabric that almost looks like a form of burlap, but softer and not quite the same..) and has a fake fur lining thats super warm. Then we had deser at ben and jerrys :D i had soooooo much funn!!!
I am now going to go collapse...Ive been on the go since 6am!!
its called core strengethening, (Im just gonna call it CS, cause thats alot easier to type AND spell lols)but its really leg stengthening! We did alllllll this stuff with our legs, and not crunches whatsoever! granted, some stuff was incorperating the abs, but the majority was leg torture! We had to do 20 of these leg lifts where you're on one side with your under leg bent and your upper leg behind you and hyou go strait up and down 20 times. i BARELY made it to ten!! i mean it hurt so dang bad i was crying. we also did clams, reverse crunches, upside down toe touches, and a lotttttt more! i was fed up because i would be telling my leg to go up and it just wasnt doing it! by the time we did the stretching in the end to losen up, i was done. couldnt do one more thing.
And thats another thing that bothered me-arent you sipposed to stretch BEFORE you work out???
I walked home alone, cause alette had one more class. i rested for about 2 minutes, then got ready to go out with dad.
As my reward for doing so well the first week, he took me to navy piers, where we ate dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., (suuuuch good food! the coconut shrimp was absolutely fantastic!)then we saw Avatar in IMAX 3D! there are not enough words to describe its awesomeness :) (although i DID have a headache when we got out, it was a little visually overwhelming. but soooooo goooooood!!!!) Then we went looking at the little kiosks of jewelry, and one of them had these cute earmuffs so dad let me get them! theyre pink and black plaid, (in a fabric that almost looks like a form of burlap, but softer and not quite the same..) and has a fake fur lining thats super warm. Then we had deser at ben and jerrys :D i had soooooo much funn!!!
I am now going to go collapse...Ive been on the go since 6am!!
PROGRESS!!!!
Today was my 2nd day in the gym and pool; I was actually able to workout! I did 11 minutes (1.1 miles) on the recumbant bike, 10 minutes of stretching, AND I was able to do the spl;its! after 2 years I went right down after some stretches! I had jess take a picture with her phone, and then sh'll email to to me, and i'll be able to post it here!
The pool was deffinitely harder! But they played some music that I liked and i Had my friends to commiserate with, so it was ok.
Tonight dad is taking to Navy Peirs to grab some dinner the AVATAR 3D IMAX!!!! totally siked for that! :D
I still had core strengthening-joy. >:P NOT looking forward to that.....im on a 1hr break right now, but im have to wait for anthony (the scheduler/manager dude person) to come open my locker because the code lock wont accept my code. and my binders in there! greeaaatt.....
The pool was deffinitely harder! But they played some music that I liked and i Had my friends to commiserate with, so it was ok.
Tonight dad is taking to Navy Peirs to grab some dinner the AVATAR 3D IMAX!!!! totally siked for that! :D
I still had core strengthening-joy. >:P NOT looking forward to that.....im on a 1hr break right now, but im have to wait for anthony (the scheduler/manager dude person) to come open my locker because the code lock wont accept my code. and my binders in there! greeaaatt.....
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Getting up
Ds left me in pain yesterday, which I thought was bad; this morning was even worse. It was one of those morning when you just want to stay in the warm comfort of your own bed. (or my temporary bed, in this case.) (which is much better than my real bed lol) and not face the cruelty of what you have to do that day. i went back to bed for 15 minutes, then made my self get up.
THANK GOD they serve miountain dew at breakfast!!!! that with the caffinated earl grey tea should keep me somewhat awake for a few hours. :P
Kathy should be calling me back fot more OR and DS-what a great way to start the day, huh?-pretty soon. actually, 9 minutes ago, but im not complaining! the less ds i have first thing in the morning the better!
PS~ go me! i managed to do all my PT and OT homework last night!
THANK GOD they serve miountain dew at breakfast!!!! that with the caffinated earl grey tea should keep me somewhat awake for a few hours. :P
Kathy should be calling me back fot more OR and DS-what a great way to start the day, huh?-pretty soon. actually, 9 minutes ago, but im not complaining! the less ds i have first thing in the morning the better!
PS~ go me! i managed to do all my PT and OT homework last night!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
It's Getting Harder!
So in case you're wondering, I did not post yesterday because there was something waaaaay more important that I had to do: watch the LOST PREMIERE!!!! (that episode needs to go into a hall of fame or something--sooo gooooood! :D)
***WARNING!!! this post is veryyy long! you have been warned!!***
So yesterday: lots of lectures, pt, ot, biofeedback, and telling my story to every teacher or doctor i meet. I came home very sore and very tired. Alette, Jessica, and I went to lunch at potbelley's. (well, they ordered lunch there, i ate my bag lunch....its was like school all over again!) Then dad and I went to the dinner that the hotel provides 3 days a week; last night was basil penne with grilled chicken and salad. it was delicious!! normally hotel food is pretty crappy, but this was amazing! (tonight's not so much, but more about that later.)
Today, I got up with the alarm pretty quickly-I was up before dad! staying up was another matter though. But I managed to be ready on time, and met alette in the lobby and we walked over to the equinox yogga studio in the mezzanine. This place is ultra fancy-like the kin of place you'd spend hundreds if not a thousand dollars a month to use! I don't know if i mentioned this before, but its in a mall, which makes it even more awesome! so i pretty much get to pretend im rich for the next month! :)
Feldenkrais (kinda like yoga for people with chronic pain) (try googling it-it's pretty cool!!) was extremely hard today! yesterday i loved it! but today it hurt really bad. I was lying on my back, on an extremely thin and useless yoga mat, on a hard wood floor. With that genreator in my left hip, it was NOT fun! there were also somethings out in my back/hip, so Im going to have to see a chairopractor soon! The pain was so bad in my hip and lower back that i couldnt do the excersises! i could barely get up, actually. it was kind of scary, because i couldnt move for a few mintues. But the instructor told us that if we cant do the moves, then to imagine them. What good that does, idk....alette was having lots of trouble too, and we hobbled back to ric-and barely made it!
Next I had a psycology appt with a doctor, where I had to yet again tell my entire story, what i hoped to accomplish/my goals, and what stresses me out, and how i manage that and pain. I am SOOO sick of saying that same speech for every single person in the clinic! (not literally every person-but thats how it feels.) Then I had PT with lisa, where I had a rough time doing about 7 different excersises in very difficult postions!
Then on to a "big movement group," which is a combinations of stretches and aerobic moves, only done much slower and extremely exagerated! It was also extremely hard! The theory behind it is this: people with chronic pain tend to "gaurd;" that is they tend to hunch over, and curl their bodies to try and protect them from being hurt firther. they also tend to tense their muscles alot-which I know i do! So big movement helps them learn to move carefully and largely, and to be able to move without the fear of being hurt by someone passing them. Most of the excersises were beyond my ability, but I should be able to do them in a couple of weeks! So I adapted as best I could, and sat out on the ones I just couldnt do.
We all had a 1 hr lunch break, so aleete, jessica, and I all went to a place called "wow bao", or "bao wow," or something like that. the food was TERRIBLE! so alette and I took the elevator up to he 7th floor ( we were in water tower place, by the way-a very cool place! im TOTALLY comming back there on saturday to go shopping![if im able anyways]) and went to auntie anns anf got pretzel sticks. i was extremely tempted to get the cinnomin sugar ones, but i got the plain ones wit hsome butter and salt. I was very proud of myself :) we then realized that it was 12:50, and had 10 minutes to go 3 or 4 blocks, stash out coats and bags in our lockers on the 2nd floor, get up to the 8th floor, and get to the lecture. we were only 4 or 5 minutes late, and we came in limping, (which was not acting, by the way) so the teacher/doctor person had no problem. it was obvious we had rushed to get there and done our best.
after the lecture, which i loved, (it was all about the gate control theory-also something cool to google. its a theory created by two people named wall and melzack, i believe...anyways its the theory that there are centers in the human body that pain travels through like an express way, and if we can shut down those gateways, we can get some pain relief. there are several gates, and numerous ways to shut them down. It was a great class :))
Then I had OT-and the dreaded beggining of DS! (desensitization of my bad rsd foot; aka->> touching the foot all over to get the nerves used to it again.) I knew it was going to hurt, but i dont think that any amount of mental preparation can prepare me for that kind of pain. I cant even describe it; I know I have to touch it to get better, i just REALLLYYYYYY wish there were some other way! (Luke-I missed you the most ever during those loooong 7 minutes! I really wish you could have been there to hold my hand.)
Im extremely blessed though-i got the best OT in the clinic! her name is kathy, and shes AMAZING!! shes very kind and understanding, but shes also FUNNY! If I had another instructer, i dont know I if could have done it! she was writting the logs papers in my pink and blue pens and making jokes like "now, which one should i write this column in? pink?" shes just awesome :D
Then I had relaxation-which is where everything went wrong. Relaxation is the entire group lying on cushy yoga mats, in a dark room, listening to the sounds of the ocean and waves. and an instructor telling us to imagine the hot sun and sinking into a sand beach. Now, if you combine a cushy mat, darkness, the beach noises, hot sun, imagining yourself on a nice comfy beach, a day full of extremely hard work, stress, and pain, what do you think is going to happem? thats right-SLEEP!!! i fell asleep! I got the living you-know-what scared out of me when the instructor woke me up by tapping on the bad foot pretty hard wit his hand. i gasped for breath, cause he had knocked it right out of me by touching my foot. (and right after the DS, too!!) I literally felt like I was in shock for a few seconds-i didnt know where or when i was! But Somehow I knew not to scream-which was my first insctinct. The instructor signaled for me to be quiet by putting his finger to his lips; he wasnt unkind about it, i think he was just trying to help. Alette was next to me, and knew at once what had happened. "are you ok?? do you need me to get anything??" "no...im ok ithink...i just need to breath for a minute...." so I lay there crying quietly for the 10 minutes left in the lesson. The instructor (Bob- idont wanna use his real name) came over to me, and knealt down next to me. "im very sorry i hurt you-i was trying to wake you because you were snoring." (o crap! total embarassment!) "thats ok; i have rsd/crps in that foot, so thats why i reacted like that." "oh im sorry!" "thats ok, you didnt know..." he went back to teaching, and i went back to crying. At the end of the lesson, he came over again and apologized again. i apologized for snoring-i know i cant helo it, but i was still completely embarassed! (even though 2 or 3 other were snoring too-but after he saw what happened when he woke me up, he left them alone lol.) so he said "we're both sorry-we're both even, ok?" i nodded. i got to my feet and rolled up mat, put away my pillow, and walked out with alette and jessica. "how bad was I snoring?" i asked them. alette answered "oh you werent even really snoring! it was more you were breathing differently. it was just the way you know people are asleep-their breathing changes. it was just louder because it was so quiet in there. I saw you were asleep, but I didnt want to wake you. I mean, we all have so much trouble sleeping as it is, I figured 'hey if shes getting some sleep, leave her alone.'" "haha thats ok, thanks i needed it." Jessica said she had heard Bob say "crap, im gonna get fired...: after he accidentally hurt me. she had also heard it was only his 2nd week. I dont know if the latter is true, but its not like im going to get him in trouble; he didnt know, and now he does. When you work in a plcae like that, you have to be careful with what and how you touch people. haha I think i scared him enough that hes learned pretty quickly!
Alette and I walked back to the hotel, and we crashed in our rooms for a couple hours, then she came over here and she, my dad, and I all hung out in my room and talked until it was time to go down to dinner. we had bbq ckicken, baked beans, and salad. the beans were plain and from a can, and the chicken was terrible! the cuts of meat were over half bone, but not whole bones, no they were like cut clean through, so you only got little bits and peices. so what little meant we did get was touch and chewy. and the bbq sauce that they offered on the side was veryyy hot and spicy! so dinner want all that great. Im hoping tomorrow will be better-taco night!
the 3 of us went back up to my room, and we kept talking till about 8:30, when her husband got here. I managed to do my PT home excersises while they were talking, as well as my DS. they were a good distraction :)
The first time i did my ds today, at RIC with Kathy, my pain went from 6.5 to 8....and took about 3 hours to recover to my baseline. ( baseline=where i started)
HOWEVER: when i did it this evening, it went from a 6.5 to a 7! and I recovered much quicker! Alette has encouraged me to not give up on the whole ds program, because shes done it and it helped her alot. I think the second time was better and easier because i was using the edge of my fleece blanket, not a rough terry cloth towel from ric! So im hoping this whole ds program will get better and esier. (it had better.....)
Whew! long post! my hands are hurting, and i still have homework! two chapters from the book "managin pain before it manages you" by friday. I thought I was done with homework until college?!?!
Tomorrow is my first time at the gym, my first pool class, and my first wii games class! (thats right-part of my OT and workout program is WII!!!! :D)
Thanks for the comments, they're helping alot!
Im going to try and take more pics of where im going, like ric and equinox and stuff. (but i dont know if i can take pics at equinoc, because its a gym and privacy and all that. but i'll see!)
***WARNING!!! this post is veryyy long! you have been warned!!***
So yesterday: lots of lectures, pt, ot, biofeedback, and telling my story to every teacher or doctor i meet. I came home very sore and very tired. Alette, Jessica, and I went to lunch at potbelley's. (well, they ordered lunch there, i ate my bag lunch....its was like school all over again!) Then dad and I went to the dinner that the hotel provides 3 days a week; last night was basil penne with grilled chicken and salad. it was delicious!! normally hotel food is pretty crappy, but this was amazing! (tonight's not so much, but more about that later.)
Today, I got up with the alarm pretty quickly-I was up before dad! staying up was another matter though. But I managed to be ready on time, and met alette in the lobby and we walked over to the equinox yogga studio in the mezzanine. This place is ultra fancy-like the kin of place you'd spend hundreds if not a thousand dollars a month to use! I don't know if i mentioned this before, but its in a mall, which makes it even more awesome! so i pretty much get to pretend im rich for the next month! :)
Feldenkrais (kinda like yoga for people with chronic pain) (try googling it-it's pretty cool!!) was extremely hard today! yesterday i loved it! but today it hurt really bad. I was lying on my back, on an extremely thin and useless yoga mat, on a hard wood floor. With that genreator in my left hip, it was NOT fun! there were also somethings out in my back/hip, so Im going to have to see a chairopractor soon! The pain was so bad in my hip and lower back that i couldnt do the excersises! i could barely get up, actually. it was kind of scary, because i couldnt move for a few mintues. But the instructor told us that if we cant do the moves, then to imagine them. What good that does, idk....alette was having lots of trouble too, and we hobbled back to ric-and barely made it!
Next I had a psycology appt with a doctor, where I had to yet again tell my entire story, what i hoped to accomplish/my goals, and what stresses me out, and how i manage that and pain. I am SOOO sick of saying that same speech for every single person in the clinic! (not literally every person-but thats how it feels.) Then I had PT with lisa, where I had a rough time doing about 7 different excersises in very difficult postions!
Then on to a "big movement group," which is a combinations of stretches and aerobic moves, only done much slower and extremely exagerated! It was also extremely hard! The theory behind it is this: people with chronic pain tend to "gaurd;" that is they tend to hunch over, and curl their bodies to try and protect them from being hurt firther. they also tend to tense their muscles alot-which I know i do! So big movement helps them learn to move carefully and largely, and to be able to move without the fear of being hurt by someone passing them. Most of the excersises were beyond my ability, but I should be able to do them in a couple of weeks! So I adapted as best I could, and sat out on the ones I just couldnt do.
We all had a 1 hr lunch break, so aleete, jessica, and I all went to a place called "wow bao", or "bao wow," or something like that. the food was TERRIBLE! so alette and I took the elevator up to he 7th floor ( we were in water tower place, by the way-a very cool place! im TOTALLY comming back there on saturday to go shopping![if im able anyways]) and went to auntie anns anf got pretzel sticks. i was extremely tempted to get the cinnomin sugar ones, but i got the plain ones wit hsome butter and salt. I was very proud of myself :) we then realized that it was 12:50, and had 10 minutes to go 3 or 4 blocks, stash out coats and bags in our lockers on the 2nd floor, get up to the 8th floor, and get to the lecture. we were only 4 or 5 minutes late, and we came in limping, (which was not acting, by the way) so the teacher/doctor person had no problem. it was obvious we had rushed to get there and done our best.
after the lecture, which i loved, (it was all about the gate control theory-also something cool to google. its a theory created by two people named wall and melzack, i believe...anyways its the theory that there are centers in the human body that pain travels through like an express way, and if we can shut down those gateways, we can get some pain relief. there are several gates, and numerous ways to shut them down. It was a great class :))
Then I had OT-and the dreaded beggining of DS! (desensitization of my bad rsd foot; aka->> touching the foot all over to get the nerves used to it again.) I knew it was going to hurt, but i dont think that any amount of mental preparation can prepare me for that kind of pain. I cant even describe it; I know I have to touch it to get better, i just REALLLYYYYYY wish there were some other way! (Luke-I missed you the most ever during those loooong 7 minutes! I really wish you could have been there to hold my hand.)
Im extremely blessed though-i got the best OT in the clinic! her name is kathy, and shes AMAZING!! shes very kind and understanding, but shes also FUNNY! If I had another instructer, i dont know I if could have done it! she was writting the logs papers in my pink and blue pens and making jokes like "now, which one should i write this column in? pink?" shes just awesome :D
Then I had relaxation-which is where everything went wrong. Relaxation is the entire group lying on cushy yoga mats, in a dark room, listening to the sounds of the ocean and waves. and an instructor telling us to imagine the hot sun and sinking into a sand beach. Now, if you combine a cushy mat, darkness, the beach noises, hot sun, imagining yourself on a nice comfy beach, a day full of extremely hard work, stress, and pain, what do you think is going to happem? thats right-SLEEP!!! i fell asleep! I got the living you-know-what scared out of me when the instructor woke me up by tapping on the bad foot pretty hard wit his hand. i gasped for breath, cause he had knocked it right out of me by touching my foot. (and right after the DS, too!!) I literally felt like I was in shock for a few seconds-i didnt know where or when i was! But Somehow I knew not to scream-which was my first insctinct. The instructor signaled for me to be quiet by putting his finger to his lips; he wasnt unkind about it, i think he was just trying to help. Alette was next to me, and knew at once what had happened. "are you ok?? do you need me to get anything??" "no...im ok ithink...i just need to breath for a minute...." so I lay there crying quietly for the 10 minutes left in the lesson. The instructor (Bob- idont wanna use his real name) came over to me, and knealt down next to me. "im very sorry i hurt you-i was trying to wake you because you were snoring." (o crap! total embarassment!) "thats ok; i have rsd/crps in that foot, so thats why i reacted like that." "oh im sorry!" "thats ok, you didnt know..." he went back to teaching, and i went back to crying. At the end of the lesson, he came over again and apologized again. i apologized for snoring-i know i cant helo it, but i was still completely embarassed! (even though 2 or 3 other were snoring too-but after he saw what happened when he woke me up, he left them alone lol.) so he said "we're both sorry-we're both even, ok?" i nodded. i got to my feet and rolled up mat, put away my pillow, and walked out with alette and jessica. "how bad was I snoring?" i asked them. alette answered "oh you werent even really snoring! it was more you were breathing differently. it was just the way you know people are asleep-their breathing changes. it was just louder because it was so quiet in there. I saw you were asleep, but I didnt want to wake you. I mean, we all have so much trouble sleeping as it is, I figured 'hey if shes getting some sleep, leave her alone.'" "haha thats ok, thanks i needed it." Jessica said she had heard Bob say "crap, im gonna get fired...: after he accidentally hurt me. she had also heard it was only his 2nd week. I dont know if the latter is true, but its not like im going to get him in trouble; he didnt know, and now he does. When you work in a plcae like that, you have to be careful with what and how you touch people. haha I think i scared him enough that hes learned pretty quickly!
Alette and I walked back to the hotel, and we crashed in our rooms for a couple hours, then she came over here and she, my dad, and I all hung out in my room and talked until it was time to go down to dinner. we had bbq ckicken, baked beans, and salad. the beans were plain and from a can, and the chicken was terrible! the cuts of meat were over half bone, but not whole bones, no they were like cut clean through, so you only got little bits and peices. so what little meant we did get was touch and chewy. and the bbq sauce that they offered on the side was veryyy hot and spicy! so dinner want all that great. Im hoping tomorrow will be better-taco night!
the 3 of us went back up to my room, and we kept talking till about 8:30, when her husband got here. I managed to do my PT home excersises while they were talking, as well as my DS. they were a good distraction :)
The first time i did my ds today, at RIC with Kathy, my pain went from 6.5 to 8....and took about 3 hours to recover to my baseline. ( baseline=where i started)
HOWEVER: when i did it this evening, it went from a 6.5 to a 7! and I recovered much quicker! Alette has encouraged me to not give up on the whole ds program, because shes done it and it helped her alot. I think the second time was better and easier because i was using the edge of my fleece blanket, not a rough terry cloth towel from ric! So im hoping this whole ds program will get better and esier. (it had better.....)
Whew! long post! my hands are hurting, and i still have homework! two chapters from the book "managin pain before it manages you" by friday. I thought I was done with homework until college?!?!
Tomorrow is my first time at the gym, my first pool class, and my first wii games class! (thats right-part of my OT and workout program is WII!!!! :D)
Thanks for the comments, they're helping alot!
Im going to try and take more pics of where im going, like ric and equinox and stuff. (but i dont know if i can take pics at equinoc, because its a gym and privacy and all that. but i'll see!)
Monday, February 1, 2010
Email now available!
Ok, Kristina and I figured it out! (well, she did the research and hard parts, I just did what she told me and did the manual stuff)
So all you have to do is type in your email address, and it will email you all my posts! (that includes pics, videos, podcast, ect. ect...)
Either way you all want to do it is fine, this may or may not make it easier for you. Thanks Lisa for the suggestion! :)
So all you have to do is type in your email address, and it will email you all my posts! (that includes pics, videos, podcast, ect. ect...)
Either way you all want to do it is fine, this may or may not make it easier for you. Thanks Lisa for the suggestion! :)
OWWWW
So I knew this was gonna hurt, but danggg.....and it's only going to get worse!
Up until about 2pm, I was doing so-so, considering I had walked a mile, going back and forth from the hotel 2 times.
The day started for me at 6am, which, as you can imagine, was NOT fun! I managed to get up, get breakfast, do my hair and makeup, and get to RIC with about 15 minutes to spare. I chose my locker, and waited for the rest of the group to get there. There are a total of about 11 or 12 people in my group, and I am the youngest. The closest to my age are two young woman, both in there late 20s, i believe. One of the ladies is the only other CRPS person in my group, and shes in the hotel room right next to mine! we get along pretty well, so It's nice to have made a friend on the first day, and it's even better that we"re able to commiserate with eachother and hang out at the hotel!
We went on a tour of the two centers, (one on the 2nd floor, one on the 8th, and one a block away in a mall! hahaaaaa Im in heaven! a mall right across the block from my hotel@ and heres the best part: its 8 stories tall!!! :D ) So I got to see the gym, which is AWESOME! very stylish! Then We had 3 lectures, from 9-12. Then a hour lunch break; I got lucky, and had an additional break right afterwards, so I had 2 hrs off. I came back to the hotel and ate with dad and relaxed) Then things got rough: Physical therapy, (PT) Occupational Therapy, (OT) and a doc appt. PT was very hard-lots of tests to see how strong I am, all of which involved standing or balancing or reaching up on my feet. Then I had OT, and the woman who helped me was awesome! Very kind and funny :) The only problem was that she had to touch and examine my bad foot to see how she could help desensitize my foot. She was pretty gentle, but some things you can only be so gentle with....so yeah it's only going to get worse, because we haven't even started to desensitize it! Then the doctor had to touch it too. NOT funnn!
I managed to get home and collapse. Barely. Then My bested dad ever surprised me with a strawberry cheesecake to celabrate my first day! :D
I will post My schedule for the next week in a new post!
Up until about 2pm, I was doing so-so, considering I had walked a mile, going back and forth from the hotel 2 times.
The day started for me at 6am, which, as you can imagine, was NOT fun! I managed to get up, get breakfast, do my hair and makeup, and get to RIC with about 15 minutes to spare. I chose my locker, and waited for the rest of the group to get there. There are a total of about 11 or 12 people in my group, and I am the youngest. The closest to my age are two young woman, both in there late 20s, i believe. One of the ladies is the only other CRPS person in my group, and shes in the hotel room right next to mine! we get along pretty well, so It's nice to have made a friend on the first day, and it's even better that we"re able to commiserate with eachother and hang out at the hotel!
We went on a tour of the two centers, (one on the 2nd floor, one on the 8th, and one a block away in a mall! hahaaaaa Im in heaven! a mall right across the block from my hotel@ and heres the best part: its 8 stories tall!!! :D ) So I got to see the gym, which is AWESOME! very stylish! Then We had 3 lectures, from 9-12. Then a hour lunch break; I got lucky, and had an additional break right afterwards, so I had 2 hrs off. I came back to the hotel and ate with dad and relaxed) Then things got rough: Physical therapy, (PT) Occupational Therapy, (OT) and a doc appt. PT was very hard-lots of tests to see how strong I am, all of which involved standing or balancing or reaching up on my feet. Then I had OT, and the woman who helped me was awesome! Very kind and funny :) The only problem was that she had to touch and examine my bad foot to see how she could help desensitize my foot. She was pretty gentle, but some things you can only be so gentle with....so yeah it's only going to get worse, because we haven't even started to desensitize it! Then the doctor had to touch it too. NOT funnn!
I managed to get home and collapse. Barely. Then My bested dad ever surprised me with a strawberry cheesecake to celabrate my first day! :D
I will post My schedule for the next week in a new post!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Settled In
We're much more settled into our new home for the next month. We've brought up everything from the car, and gone grocery shopping. Out kitchen is now stocked with foods for the next couple of days. ( we can't store too much because of the limited space.)
Dad and I are about to make dinner, and watch some Get Smart :)
Dad and I are about to make dinner, and watch some Get Smart :)
Pictures
Our Hotel Room! The huge bed is mine :D
I will post more pics as I take them :)
(I did not take a pic of the view from our hotel room windows, cause the view is horrible. it looks out over a roof of the next building. and heres the cruel part: our hotel has no pool or jacuzzi, and we have to look at the pool on the roof of the building across the street! soooo not fair! >:( )
Arrival
I'm Here! We got in at around 7:45 lastnight, and it took 2 loads on the luggage-carrier thingy they give you to get our stuff up. (we took the rest up today)[see luke?? i told you I didn't bring too much :P ] Our Hotel room is AWESOME!!!!! my room is absolutely gorgeous, and I have a huuuuge bed and two large closets! (the irony is they barely give you any hangers) I got all unpacked, and then relaxed. I couldnt fall asleep till 2:30am, cause of the falling and my back hurting. I had to wake up at 7:30am, because dad wanted to start getting up earlier so that having to wake up at 6am for the next month would be easier. well, as easy as it can be at 6am ,anyways. then we went down to breakfast, which was ok i guess. they had eggs, (which were waaaay to runny and wet for my taste.) and sauseges, pastries, cereals and milks, oatmeal, and stuff to make yogurt parfaits, (yogurt, granola, and strawberries.) i made a parfait, but ended up throwing it away because it was just gross! we came back up, i showered, and we went to the grocery store to buy food. It's weird, their Safeway out here is called Domonick's, but its owned by safeway, so our club card worked. It was like walking around the one back home, just bigger and with waaaay more stuff. Then we came back here and ate lunch and relaxed.
Oh, and we also times how long it will take me to walk to RIC; it took 6:30 minutes, so if I count in about 15 minutes, I should be in good shape. But Its alot farther away than i thought! The people told us 1 1/2 blocks, but its more like 3 or so. Anyways you look at it, its alot of walking for me!
Im going to try to upload the pics I took of the hotel room, so i hope it works!
Dad and I just finnished watching a movie, and after I finnish this, I think Im going to go watch something in my room and just veg out.
Oh, and we also times how long it will take me to walk to RIC; it took 6:30 minutes, so if I count in about 15 minutes, I should be in good shape. But Its alot farther away than i thought! The people told us 1 1/2 blocks, but its more like 3 or so. Anyways you look at it, its alot of walking for me!
Im going to try to upload the pics I took of the hotel room, so i hope it works!
Dad and I just finnished watching a movie, and after I finnish this, I think Im going to go watch something in my room and just veg out.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Crazinesssss
So tomorrow I have to get up @ like 7am, shower, then luke is taking me to a doctor appointment, then we're comming back here and he's going to keep me company while I pack, and help me if I need it. Then My mom is making us all a huuuge family dinner, i think its going to be roast turkey with green beans and sweet potato casserole :) thennn I leave 6am saturday am for CHICAGO!!!!!
Saying goodbye to lauriee today was not easy, and saying goodbye to luke tomorrow, and my family the next day, is going to be even harder! :'(
Saying goodbye to lauriee today was not easy, and saying goodbye to luke tomorrow, and my family the next day, is going to be even harder! :'(
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
One week to go
Well, I leave in one week, as of this morning. I'm very excited! My dad came into my room today, carrying a magenta/hot purple suitcase. "what's that?" I aksed him. "this," he replied, "is the 5 piece luggage set you won at your "after-prom" party." I had totally forgotten about it! That should definitely help with packing. (And it's in a bright, pretty color, too!) I'm upset that I'll be away from my family for a whole month; and I'll also be away from Luke. That's going to be rough. I depend on him alot, for emotional support and alot of other things. He helps me so much, I hate thought of being away from him for this long. (and then there's the fact that he's my boyfriend, that will make it even harder *sad face*) Well, I'd better go; mom and I need to so lots of shopping in the next week! (clothes, food, (I have to eat wheat-free as much as I can. Not gonna be easy for a whole month away from home!)and a bunch of other stuff. I will keep posting as I can!
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