So Kathy just upgraded my desinsitization program from light touch to lotion and preassure. yippeeeee.......so basically now i get to rub lotion on my bad foot while applying preassure. and this is only step 2 in my DS program! not fun....I managed to get ALL my homework done lastnight, then fell asleep talking to luke. dad came in and helped me get to bed. I was alseep before 10:30, and slept straight till 6am. unfortunately, I dont feel rested at all :( ive been nodding off in classes all morning. the good news is, i have a code red mt dew, and all meetings and lectures fro the rest of the day! so it should be pretty easy...
Sorry I havent posted for a few days, i had some drama with the doctors, they thought i was being too negative and it was hindering my progress. (and im sorry, but if they have in issue with ME, then some people in my group better also be called in, because theyre waaaaay worse than me!) they also accused me of talking badly about the therapists behind their back and trying to turn them against eachother or something like that......yep,, im a real trouble maker, apparently! (By the way, NONE of that is true-but i think you guys know that because you all know ME, and im completely NOT like that!) so yeah i wass pissede beyond belief...for the first time, i REALLYYYYY wanted to come home-just to get away from these people! I mean, how can I work with people who 1.) treat me like this, and 2.) think of me that way?? But after talking to lauriee, luke, mom, and alette, im feeling better; at first i was going to be passive agressive, and just not talk unless they talked to me, because it feels like theyre twisting what i say-but i found i cannot do that, its just not my personality. so then i changed tactics: im being so cheerful and pleasant there is NO WAY they can posssibly find anything wrong with me. I know i dont need them to like me, thats not the point here; but it does make it alot easier, so....yeah....thats my plan. and if they dont like the fact that im complaining, they can get over it-you cant come to this place and not complain. its impossible!
*sigh* id better go eat lunch now, alette and jess will be here any minute from equinox to have lunch. (quick reminder: equinox is the gym and pool we use across the street.)
if anyone has any advice for how i can deal with these people, (and let me state that its NOT all of them-just a few)then id really appreciate hearing it :) Thanks!
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Hi Kates -
ReplyDeleteI know you've been going through a lot emotionally in the past few days. Try to look at it this way: if you'd gone off to college, you (like all kids your age) would encounter stressful situations and relationships with professors, roommates, fellow students, etc. What you'd likely find (as most of your friends did this semester) is that there may be things about yourself that you need to think about - how am I handling this? how am I reacting? is there any truth to what they're saying?. You'd be wise to spend time thinking honestly and openly about all that's gone on and been said. Try to lower your defensiveness (which we all have and is a normal reaction to the circumstance), and consider if there's something you can take away from this and use as a positive change in yourself. Try to listen to how other people perceive you. What can you learn from it?
I went through something similar in my first full-time job. I had a very challenging office manager, who I worked along-side all day, every day. She rode me so hard, always criticizing, always telling me how to do things I already knew how to do, always checking up on me like she didn't trust me. Pop gave me the same advice I just gave you, and I took it seriously. I spent time really listening to the woman with an open mind, and worked hard to see things from her point of view, even if I felt she was wrong. I tried to see why she saw things her way. I discovered things about myself, and about how to work with difficult people. I didn't like all that I saw about myself, and decided to work on making some changes. But I also found a strong ally in that woman in the years ahead. I stopped treating her as my enemy and tried to form a teammate relationship. It worked well, not that she was suddenly an easy person to work with! But it helped a lot and I ended up learning things from her that I value and use to this day.
I hope this helps you. I'm sorry I couldn't pick up your call earlier - I was on the phone with Kris, and Mr. Miller was at the door dropping off Carrie (and the milk he picked up for me on the way) and Dex was jumping on Dennis (which I don't think Dennis cares for)... it was a little crazy. Yes, we have power :) THANK GOD!! I'll call you later tonight to talk.
love you bunches :)
~Mom